- Come one, come all to the most phenomenal, most extraordinary, most unimaginable puppet show you've ever experienced. Prepare for an astonishing adventure full of mystery, full of danger, and full of artistry meant to astound the eye and capture the human soul.
- "The name is Professor Gregorious T. Oswald, but my friends, and were all friends here--call me G. Today's fantastical tale is "The Perilous Journey of a Boy Named Kutaro."
- (after waiting) "This is a reminder to all our patrons to look after your valuables. 'The theater cannot be held responsible if any of your personal property goes missing..."
- "Welcome to the magical theatre, of the strange and fantastic....."
Act 5, Curtain 2
- "All of human history can be traced along our waistlines. Agriculture and then food storage eventually separated men into the plump and the poor. Call it… "fatocracy".
- "To narrow the divides between the “fats” and the “fat-not's”, someone had the bright idea to ration food out. It was called “communism”. “Want bread? Line up! Don´t be like those unhealthy fatocrats!”."
- "But communism ultimately lost. No five-year plan could wean people from the temptation of all the caviar and the vodka”"
- "With the help of Calibrus, Kutaro defeated the Malice and saved the souls of a lucky few!"
- "Now back to Kutaro's tale."
- (a conversation that happens when waiting a while between curtains)
Pikarina: That’s it. Who’s the dunce that left this junk lying around?
Moon Bear King: Sorry, my bad.
Pikarina: Omigosh, armature. Can't you even strike your own props?
Ezma Potts: Psst. Am I in the next scene?
Moon Bear King: I thought I was on.
Ying-Yang: Here's an idea. Learn the script. What a concept.
Pikarina: have you guys seen Kutaro? We cant start without our lead!
Ying-Yang: He’s in the green room purr-using come comic books.
Pikarina: Is he crazy? Call him! Go get that punk right now!
G: Ahem! Please, uh, take your seats. We’ll be continuing “ The precarious Theatrical career of a boy named Kutaro” Very shortly.